Single On Valentine’s Day? This One Is For You

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New Year, New Relation….. Nope, I am still single.

The month of February has always been a tough one for me. During this time, it finally settles in that I’m starting a new year. Now, don’t get me wrong — I love the “Month of Love,” but for me, it has always been tough because it reminds me of one big thing: I’m the last 23-year-old on the earth that has never had a boyfriend.

Maybe I’m being just a little too dramatic… but it is true.

When I was younger, I remember praying to have blue eyes and long straight hair because all of my close friends did.  I wanted to be apart of the “in crowd.” As a brown-eyed, curly-haired, black girl, I often found myself angry with God because I would wake up and see that my prayers hadn’t been answered.

As I moved into adulthood, I found myself doing the same thing. Praying for God to hurry up and give me my dream job, salary, healed thought life…. guy.  I would say all of these prayers while lying to others and myself.

I can’t count how many times I have said “ Oh, I’m just waiting for the right _______” when my heart was screaming  “I’m waiting for God to finally give me what I want and let me join in with others.”

Waiting for God to finally bring me someone who would love me for who I am.
Waiting for God to finally “magically” heal me, so that I can have healthy relationships with men.
Waiting for God to finally let me be happy.

I’d gotten to a place where I was content with settling. I stopped believing that God would provide because I had been waiting for so long.

One thing that I love about God is that He doesn’t allow us to battle through our thoughts, fears, and misunderstanding alone, He is always right beside us. Now, I understand that this can not always feel like the truth, but trust me, He is there. Sometimes it is a gentle whisper, sometimes it is a loud roar, but even in his silence, he is still present.

As I have been walking through healing this year, I heard God quiet my “waiting statements” sternly, yet warmly, with these verses.

Isaiah 43: 18-19
“Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing!
Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.”

When I first read these verses, I was like “Yeah! Finally, God is going to move me forward and give me a boo thang!”, but recently I have read the surrounding scripture, and I am seeing that God is trying to tell me the same thing He was telling Israel.

You are in the season of waiting because of my mercy, not because I don’t want to bless you.

Dang, God…. you got to lay down the truth like that? Well, He was right (as always).

Like Israel, I believe God has chosen this season to prune my heart and get me prepared to handle my future blessings.

God was showing His mercy by:

Waiting for me to finally trust his plan and lean on Him solely.
Waiting for me to finally seek him out to restore my relationship with Him.
Waiting for me to finally be content and at peace by entering into His presence.

Isaiah 30:18
Therefore the Lord waits to be gracious to you, and therefore he exalts himself to show mercy to you. For the Lord is a God of justice; blessed are all those who wait for him.

At the end of the day, God blesses us to bring glory to His name; He will not withhold a blessing without purpose. Just as much as you or I might be waiting, God is waiting too. Desperately, patiently, and lovingly, God is waiting for us to be in a place where we can handle the blessing he has in store.

So, I have finally decided to accept the season of waiting for a time to get to know God better, and I would encourage you to do the same. There is blessing in waiting and resting patiently in God’s presence.

New Year, New Relationship with God!

Till next time,

Hiya! I’m Kim. As a middle child of 3 girls, you can say that I had a bit of trouble standing out as a child. To break out of the “middle-child” mold, I quickly developed a quirky and passionate view of life that has allowed me to have a wild walk with God. Outside of being the Women’s Small Group Director at my church, I spend most of my time pouring into young girls through a non-profit called The Lovely Project. I also enjoy spending my time making Youtube videos, eating bagels, and torturing myself with running.

You can follow Kim on Instagram.

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